Absorbed by life working in the hectic world of Port Adelaide football, I must admit I’ve spent a while a fair way away from ‘the Chase’, but I know what I'd like in a significant other.
And like most Port supporters, dating someone who goes for any other team is something that scarcely bears thinking about.
So, for Port fanatics out there this Valentine’s Day wondering whether she’s the one, here are a couple of handy indicators to tell whether you may have landed yourself the best catch since 1870…
1. She’d skip your birthday party to watch the footy.
Enjoy the cupcake, mate, she'll be cheering her other boys on.
2. She has generations of Port-supporting lineage behind her.
We made up the names, but you get the picture...
3. She zones out from otherwise absorbing conversation whenever ‘Never Tear Us Apart’ comes in on the coffee shop radio.
It's because she really wishes she was singing it here...
4. She and her Power-mad grandma are more passionate at the footy sitting in reserved than you and your mates on the hill.
She and her grandma have more combined footy passion than this whole motley crew...
5. She remembers that day Tredders basically beat the Tigers at Footy Park single-handedly. You don’t.
<3 Tredders
6. She thinks a trip to the Port Club for tea is as romantic a Valentine’s date as you can have.
Betting she wolfs down more steak than you as well...
7. Taking your hypothetical children to watch the club play at Alberton in the old black-and-white guernsey for ‘indoctrination’ is compulsory.
She'll want you to raise your kids with traditional family values... like seeing Port Adelaide play as 'the Magpies' in the SANFL.
8. She loses it when your non-Port supporter mates say “established 1996”_620.jpg)
Willy Whicker (pictured) was a mad-keen Port supporter, when we wore magenta-and-blue... about 100 years before '96.
9. You like flashy midfielders like Travis Boak, Brad Ebert and Robbie Gray, but Tommy Logan is still the only man for her.
<3 Tommy
10. And she never, ever gives up... On making you pull your weight around the house (start today by doing the washing for a change).
Happy Valentine's Day
