IF | THEN | |
Adelaide | you've just woken up from a six-month hibernation ... | … yep, that is Adelaide with eight wins, and yep, it did lose to the Western Bulldogs on the weekend. |
Brisbane Lions | the Lions want a big-name coach to join them … | … they need to sort out this boardroom battle. As in, RIGHT NOW. |
Carlton | there's been one positive to come from Dale Thomas' injury … | … it is that the price the Blues will offer him under free agency will be dropping by the week. |
Collingwood | you missed the bold, premature and very possibly over-the-top call this column made last week on Brodie Grundy ... | … don't worry, we're happy to repeat it. The kid will be an all-time great. Happy to put 'em on the line. |
Essendon | he truth was to place Essendon in a better place, as James Hird declared it would … | … one can only wonder where lies would have placed it. Hmmm. |
Fremantle | Luke McPharlin gets fit and returns immediately to his best … | … the Dockers win the flag. |
Geelong | Steven Motlop was on the open market … | … you'd have to seriously consider giving up the No.1 pick to get him. |
Gold Coast | Jack Martin is only 70 per cent as good as the spruikers say he is … | … when he's able to actually play AFL next year, this team makes the finals. |
GWS | GWS continue to pursue Buddy to play alongside Jeremy Cameron and Jon Patton ... | ... key forwards like debutant Kristian Jaksch will need to find a new home. |
Hawthorn | Hawthorn do indeed get Buddy's signature on a fresh contract … | … it must stage manage the announcement. No prime TV spots or newspaper front pages available right now. |
Melbourne | Todd Viney wants to do his son a favour … | … he must recruit some big-bodied midfielders to play alongside Jack. Someone like, say, Brent Moloney. |
North Melbourne | Lachie Hansen isn't one of the most improved players in the competition ... | … well, he just is. And well done to him. |
Port Adelaide | you thought Travis Boak was just an honest toiler … | … say sorry. Always been very good, now elite. And a superb leader to boot. |
Richmond | it actually was complacency which cost the Tigers last week against Carlton … | … they're kidding themselves. Don't think it was, but the jury is nevertheless out. |
St Kilda | it was round 22, 2012 ... | … Ahmed Saad wouldn't be able to move in Melbourne. Round 22, 2013, and because of something going on at another club, no-one cares. |
Sydney Swans | the Swans are looking to compete in this year's trade period … | … they've now got a second-round pick price-tag to attach to Jesse White. It was fifth-round, at best, eight weeks ago. |
West Coast | the coach wants to stay and the club wants him to stay ... | … where's the official announcement? Does he really want to stay and does it really want him to stay? Suppose we'll find out soon. |
Western Bulldogs | Adam Cooney had have ended up at another club … | ... it just would have been wrong. Well done to both parties. |
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