DID your better half tear the remote away from you during INSIDE Port Adelaide to watch the Bachelorette? 

Well, you basically got to see the Port players anyway. 


1. Dave the Plumber, aka, Matt White and Eddie McGuire's love child. 

2. Richie the chisel-jawed, milky-white complexioned gentleman. 

3. Extremely unnerving sleep technician*, Drew.  

*denotes harborer of strange birds

4. Terrifyingly unkempt philanthropist Shane. 

5. The absurdly attractive air steward Tony.