IT'S taken some 19 years, but finally Port Adelaide's secret plan for national supremacy has been unmasked.
Satire website Thermocow has decoded and ranked the AFL's club songs on pure ambition and boastfulness and found Port Adelaide's AFL anthem to be No. 1 for swag.
The analysis for 'The Power to Win' starts with relative tameness...
"To the casual listener, this is a song about trying hard and giving your all."
But quickly gets to the bottom of the Power song's secret meaning.
"...This propaganda anthem claims that Port Adelaide has the “power to rule”. Rule what? The lyrics state that this is about “more than a sport”, meaning they are not content to simply rule the AFL.
"They want to make “history”, and what better way than to be the first VFL/AFL/SANFL team to depose an elected government and seize control of an entire nation."
Gee, that escalated quickly...
There's more, though.
"Knowing this, the rest of the song suddenly makes sense."
"They want to “take” Australia’s “flag”, and their battle cry of “aggression” indicates a willingness to use force to achieve this objective."
At least you can be sure of one thing, and that's the sincerity of Port Adelaide's endeavour:
"They will not stop. They will not give in. By the time you read this, it may already be too late."
"As the only club song celebrating a forthcoming violent coup of a peaceful and well-established democracy, Port Adelaide clearly tops the list."
Really, this should come as no surprise to portadelaidefc.com.au's faithful readers, who have worked hard against adversity towards the glorious triumph of this mighty regime football club.
Port Adelaide's ever-loyal true believers have tipped countless membership dollars into the mission over many years, even before it stormed the AFL in 1997.
Earlier this year Port Adelaide tried to take the establishment over by running for democratic rule of our country.
It has also had a few successful invasions of major Australian capital cities...
Brilliant! RT @heraldsunphoto: Power fans descend on the @MCG to watch @PAFC take on the Hawks pic.twitter.com/BegTAAX0eE
— Matthew Abraham (@KevCorduroy) September 20, 2014
Interestingly, the Sydney Swans club song 'Cheer, Cheer...', which like the traditional Port Adelaide SANFL anthem is derived from the Notre Dame Victory March, was ranked second.
Those supporters committed to the Power's cause can register their interest in joining its growing army (the sixth largest in the AFL) for 2016 here.
Source: Thermocow